Monday, September 26, 2011

Attunement

Breathing...
Fumbling for the right song on the iPhone that now functions as an iPod
Balancing the erratic dance I'm forced into by a four-legged partner
Clicking...Searching...Song...Blaring...

Arrogantly I trot around, meandering south towards the Forest floor
ignoring Life that surrounds me
She beckons, "Let go"
I laugh aloud and retort, "I have"
She asks, "Can you please listen to what..."
I raise the volume..."I love this John Mayer song!"

Guitar riffs and cymbals clash
Head bobbing, singing
Dog sniffing every branch, rock, bush, and stump
as if he would be filled with regret if one inch of Forest were missed
"Its so nice to get away and be alone!"
The music of Modernity attempts to drown out, block, numb me to the reality I avoid seeing myself in

I pass the ghostly hollows of the old oak
the lifeless limbs that hang overhead, eerily reaching towards me
as if trying to pluck me up out of the monotony
I stop dead, rigid on the path,
dust consuming me

...Pause Button...

Eyes open, ears open, heart open
Crows Caa, Bees Buzz, Hawks Screech, Squirrels Bark
I suddenly realize, I'm not alone. 

I pause myself. I look around. Present.
The dangers of the green and red leaves scattered along the water's shoulder
are hypnotic in their dance with the wind
Dry branches are devoured by the silky green foliage of the twisted vines
A canopy above me, filled with life in the changing season
Foot prints
Animal Tracks
Bicycle Wheels
hidden, beneath the dirt encrusted around my shoes

KNOCKING. TRICKLE. CHIRPING.

I hear the brook and see that it twists and turns throughout the floor, 
as though begging not to be swallowed up by the Forest herself.
The maze of Oaks, elaborate and dense, cause me to ponder the similarities
between its weaving patterns
and the intricacies of Life, the complexity of being Human, and
one's constant struggle to push towards Acceptance. 

Amidst my quiet solitude and intense reflection
a Doe
symbol of gentleness, listening, grace, balance, freshness, new awakenings
crosses my path.
I acknowledge aloud her presence and feel grateful for the messenger of Light.
I reflect on how many times this day, this week, this month, this year
how easily I took advantage of life's simple pleasures
rather than admiring, respecting, and thanking.
I began to see my life, unfold in front of me, in this natural wonder

The dirt continues to flail around my face
Dog panting as I take in the spiritual awakenings being given
I stop in my track...
Pulled towards the towering Eucalyptus Tree 
that stands naked, vulnerable before me.

I ponder on its current state, as though I were in an art gallery.
I smell its fragrance...intoxicating.
Shards of bark lie twisted, broken, and shattered all around its stong stump
I notice the pale white skin under the warped and weathered rind
I remark, "You're being reborn. Stronger. More beautiful"
Imaging that somehow, hearing my voice
would allow him to gather the strength necessary
to suffer through the Winter
Two steps forward...then two back.
I face my comrade and realize that he and I are on the same path
Compelled that I too must prepare for a rebirth, reawakening, rediscovery

Fear
"I can't do this alone"
Arrogance
"You are not that special. Change is the only constant"
Realization
"The trees change, its leaves change, the brooks course changes, winds change, life changes"
Acceptance

I feel roused by the accutely loud lullaby of the crickets hidden beneath the brush
Their song is comforting in that moment.
I press forward...
The sound seems to follow me. Maybe I'm following the sound. 
The symphony of thought is created by the rise and fall of my chest, the pounding of my heart, the shuffle of my feet, the cling of dog tags, and natures orchestra accompanying me.

Stirred
"Be the woman you've imagined yourself being"
Open
"Be humble, be kinder, ask for forgiveness, give forgiveness, be kind to yourself, love deeper"
Acceptance
"I can do this. I choose to do this"
Attunement

The seasons are changing, the first rain is approaching, cool air, winter's frigid snow
Life is changing, Life's healing rain will fall, broken, wounded, choosing to stand in the downpour
We are at one with each other
Together we change, Together we struggle, Unison
I ignored
But the Forest reminded me
That WE are one

...Press Play...

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