It is but in the recesses of my heart and mind from which true inspiration speaks. Come for the topics. Stay for the content. Create with discussion.
Sunday, February 3, 2019
Tuesday, January 29, 2019
Silently Broken
Sometimes I wish you’d rip my fuckin’ heart out.
Just slash it open, dismantle it
RELENTLESSLY!
That way, I wouldn’t die in each breath
When you speak her name
RELENTLESSLY.
© 2019: DNKL Silently Broken
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Peanuts and beyond: Coping with childhood
food allergies
By Danielle Larin, M.A, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
“You’re
daughter is breathing at 80% capacity. To assist her in breathing, we need to
administer a breathing treatment, epinephrine and steroids. She will then be
under a 4 to 6 hour observation in emergency.”
This phrase
or any variation of it sends panic and fear coursing through a parent’s body.
As parents, we aim to nurture, protect, and educate our children to the best of
our abilities. We work towards reading on developmentally appropriate foods to
give. We model healthy food habits by offering fruits, vegetables, and whole
grains. We read online and discuss food options with pediatricians, fellow
parents, and daycare providers. As a mother of two, I believed I was well
prepared for my daughter’s journey towards independent eating. However, I was
not ready for the six hours of worry that followed on a December evening.
In my case,
the culprit was a dime-sized amount of peanut butter given to my one-year-old
daughter. On a beautiful evening following Christmas, we sat together enjoying
the glow of our holiday lights. As I sat on the floor with my daughter,
enjoying my peanut butter sandwich, she glanced at me and said, “Mmm” and
cutely shook her head “yes” affirming she wanted a bite. I hesitantly gave her a
lick, knowing that peanuts are one of the most common allergies in the United
States. While I was afraid, I rationalized she would be okay because I ate
peanut butter while pregnant as well as while I breastfed her. She had not
shown any signs of sensitivity, so we were good to go.
Within
minutes, she began to sneeze. I chalked it up to a cold she recently contracted
from her older brother. Then her sneezing became worse, increasing in frequency
and severity. I noticed clear mucous flowing from her nose. I saw she was
rubbing her eyes and it was then that I noticed she had broken out in hives all
over her body, her eyes were swollen, and I was panicking. I administered
Benadryl as her pediatrician directed, hoping that it would reduce her symptoms.
Sadly, she was not able to keep the medication in her body. I contacted my
emergency advice line, a call that kept me waiting for 18 more minutes. While
waiting, I bathed my daughter in an effort to get the vomit off her skin, which
was causing a red rash everywhere.
The advice
nurse told us to “monitor” her symptoms because she could not hear breathing
problems while listening over the phone.
After 3 more incidents of vomiting, my husband and I realized that she
was heading into anaphylactic shock and needed to act immediately. We raced to
our local urgent care and it was here that we learned that our daughter was
struggling to breathe. Her lips and skin had gone from bright pink to a pale
grey color, indicating her airways were closing.
We also
learned that she was one of many children who had a severe peanut allergy, and
that it will be a life-long allergy that will not likely get better. I felt
responsible for my child’s allergy and felt like the worst mother on the planet
for not acting sooner. In my complacency with an advice nurse’s suggestions, my
daughter nearly lost her life.
As scary as
this experience was for my family, there were some very valuable lessons that I
learned:
·
Emotional Reactivity: The guilt I felt for giving my daughter peanut
butter was valid. It is also unfairly ascribed. There was no possible way,
short of being clairvoyant, that I could have known my daughter would have this
reaction. Thankfully I was with her when it happened and was able to react
quickly.
·
Get to an urgent care or emergency room
as soon as possible.
According to Food and Allergy Research and Education (FARE), every three
minutes food allergies send someone to the emergency room. 40% of children with
food allergies have severe reactions such as anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis is a
multi system reaction in our body to a substance that we cannot tolerate. It
can manifest with hives, itching, swelling, and difficulty breathing.
·
Increased Food Awareness: This experience has forced me to be
aware of what I am consuming as an extended breastfeeding mother as well as
what my daughter consumes. I carefully read labels for all tree nut and peanut
traces, ask questions at all restaurants about what types of oil they use to
cook, and avoid cross contamination with our utensils.
·
Proactive Advocate for my child’s health: I am the voice of my child. If I do not
speak up for her and ask every question I have on her behalf, it could mean the
difference between life and death. It’s okay to be afraid, but do not let that
fear hurt your child.
·
Increased comfort with the word “No.” I have become comfortable with the
word “NO.” I have learned that it is okay to leave a restaurant that uses
peanuts in their kitchen. I have learned its okay to leave a place that cannot
tell me definitively that they do not use peanut oil. I have become comfortable
with telling relatives who have eaten nuts or peanut butter that they cannot
hold our child or kiss her due to her allergy. I have to decide what is more
important: their needs or my child’s right to life.
·
Lifestyle changes. I have begun educating myself on common
allergens, where they can be found, strategies to integrate into life, and
using the epinephrine auto-injector. I believe the more information we have,
the better equipped we will be to handle an emergency. We can administer my
child’s Epi-pen. I can perform child CPR. We are all aware of signs to look for
when she has a reaction. My older child knows how to call 9-1-1. We practice
stringent cleaning practices. We believe in prevention and early intervention.
It will save her life.
If you or
your child/children have an allergy, there are things you can do.
1)
Be
aware of the signs of reaction
a. Rash, Swelling, Wheezing or Difficulty
breathing, Sneezing, Itchiness
b. Follow your healthcare providers
directives regarding the administration of medications, including Benadryl or
Epinephrine auto-injectors.
2)
Get
to the hospital
a. When in doubt, just go!
3)
Ask,
ask, then ask again. There is no such things as a stupid question.
4)
Get
support! You are NOT ALONE!
a. Inquire about parent groups, nutritionists,
and accommodations at your schools and daycares.
b. Seek out counseling if you continue to
feel guilt or attachment concerns following your experience.
5)
Seek
guidance
a. Talk to you pediatrician. Discuss your
child’s allergies with your WIC office. Read about allergies online through WIC
education and blogs. Connect with other WIC parents or those in your
neighborhood coping with the same issue.
b. Visit Food Allergy Research and Education page
to read about food allergies.
c. Visit The
American College of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology to learn more about
additional allergens and how to live with them
Labels:
allergy,
epinephrine,
food,
mental health,
nuts,
peanut,
peanut butter,
WIC
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