Thursday, June 30, 2011

Reason, Season, or a Lifetime

Today was one of mixed emotions....
Sadness, Happiness, Fear, Uncertainty, Love

Sadness because of lost friendships and connections that may tentatively been cut; Happiness that somehow Time or The Universe or God really knows what its doing - timing seems "perfect"; Fear that I'll end up in the same black oblivion of "unemployment" - a shame and embarrassment whose heavy weight never seemed to let up; Uncertainty of the future and its nervous opportunities; Love for people, of a place, and for many things.

A chapter of my life was quickly written and then the book was slammed shut. It seemed as though my life blazed right on through and now I fear the standstill that somehow manages to manifest itself. The old adage of "The Calm before the Storm" percolates in my mind.

I find myself reflecting upon an email that seems to coincide nicely with words from today: "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

I am morose over the loss I have suffered today, but I think about the unique opportunity that this loss has provided me with. Without this loss, I would not be available to seek out a new and exciting enterprise: one that I have long put on hold. Without this loss, I would not be able to be caregiver to family, mother to a son, research assistant to a system, or a avid-hiker/health nut for my planned, but not yet created child.

The opportunities that lie in waiting are vast: a letter that conveniently shows up after being "lost," a letter that will allow for a transition for a big change, my new enterprise and the time necessary to see it manifest, time to prepare myself, mentally and physically, for the extremes that my body will go through for creating life, and space to reflect and appreciate the relationships I have made.

Whether you are in my life for a "REASON" a "SEASON" or a "LIFETIME" - I am thankful that you allowed me into your life. I am thankful that you heard and listened to me. I am thankful for the lessons you've taught me. I hope that I too, can function in your life as a "REASON" for a "SEASON" or last for a "LIFETIME"

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